The Scottish Philanthropist

[Wally]

One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.

"We don't have any money for food.", The poor man replied.

"Oh, come along with me then."

"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"

"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!", he said to the other man.

"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered.

"Bring them as well!"

They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The rich man replied "No, I appreciate you: the grass at my home is about three feet tall!"

[Ross the fiddler]

Re: The Scottish Philanthropist

Yep, I like that one. You can't let good opportunities go by.

[Guest]

Re: The Scottish Philanthropist

Yep, I like that one. You can't let good opportunities go by.

Then did you hear the one about the Scottish Widow, Ross ...?

A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. After the editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, she pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read 'Jock' MacIntosh died'."

Confounded at the woman's thrift, the editor stammers that there is a 7-word minimum for all obituaries. The woman pauses again, counts on her fingers and replies, "In that case, 'Jock' MacIntosh died: 1983 Pick-up for sale'."

[Ross the fiddler]

Re: The Scottish Philanthropist

Then did you hear the one about the Scottish Widow, Ross ...?

A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. After the editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, she pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read 'Jock' MacIntosh died'."

Confounded at the woman's thrift, the editor stammers that there is a 7-word minimum for all obituaries. The woman pauses again, counts on her fingers and replies, "In that case, 'Jock' MacIntosh died: 1983 Pick-up for sale'."

Aye, a canny ald soul.